Category: Blog

“Prepare to change,” comes the honeyed baritone voice of my teacher Hansu Jot as my fingers are getting ready to move from chord to chord on the harmonium.

Preparing to change fingers soon eases into a fluent rhythm when change is prepped for.

The music of life plays out before my eyes on the harmonium. It is about moving through life. Making the changes you need to make the changes you want to make. “Prepare to change” is both literal and metaphorical. Our brain and body are one neuromuscular system. Can do metaphorically, can do physically. How do you prepare for change so you can sing your melody on your vision board?

There are two ways to change things: Either you are forced to change or you have the intuition to change. – Yogi Bhajan

As we prepare for change, the Big C – Change – becomes less daunting. “Change is the only constant” cannot be a wiser adage. Some change, such as a relocation that feels so expansive, is downright exciting. Some change, like the ending of a relationship that you thought is meant to last forever, hurts like hell. How can it not be?

Can change be more comfortable? Rather should the question be, is resistance to change the suffering?

This extraordinary year has been for me one of Big C, of metamorphoses. It has been fervent shedding – breaking karmic patterns, releasing lifetimes of outmoded energies, rewiring mindsets, clearing clutter inside and out, trimming my inner landscape – to fully make space for the essence of Sita Pavan Kaur, the spiritual identity I want to embody heart and soul. It has been about discovering my inner music, nurturing my higher self and breathless expansion in ways I did not envision.

This is a year of rooting deeper into love, truth and trust. There is a sense that God is doing it all. The synchronicities and unfolding are sheer divine orchestration. Breathtaking to witness, such a blessing to receive. Losses and gains, endings and beginnings, crossroads and life-changing paths have long been set in motion because there is a greater plan than the ones I have in my head. I could not have been better shown what I want to let in from now on.

Hindsight is always 200 percent. I am hard pressed to find anything I would have done differently. Everything is exactly at where it should be. The process of withering and eventual death is simultaneously excruciating and necessary. I cannot say I love the life lessons but they did clarify and redefine boundaries and what is most important for spirit. I did not seek illumination in such bewildering circuitous manner. The becoming found me.

With a whole lot of gratitude, hand on heart I whisper, I enter a new decade with zilch regrets thank you.

How about you dear hearts. How did the last 10 years pan out for you? In the last weeks of this decade, are there baggage to drop, unfinished businesses that need wrapping up and closure? Are there people you want to reach out to, share more time with? What should be unreservedly let go of to expand into intentional living and so much possibilities? What is ripe for beginnings? How are you preparing for change?

We end 2019 with a solar eclipse and begin the next with a lunar eclipse. I love eclipses for the incredible cosmic support they bring to life. What is more aligned and true for us is given a handy shove, if we are so willing.

May you begin a new decade fresh, charged and ready to carve a future you want to belong to. May you grant yourself carte blanche to venture the length, breadth, and depth of what you love. May you have the courage and strength to live the change you wish to see in your world.

Happy New Beginnings!

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Everything seemed possible, when I looked through the eyes of a child.
And every once in a while; I remember I still have the chance to be that wild.

– Nikki Rowe

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Hello Beloved, I have been spending so much time in nature, pausing, observing, listening. There is beauty before me, beauty behind me, beauty all around me, to quote the Navajo prayer of gratitude.

This year marks the year I return to the mountains. I never thought I would attempt to touch the sky again after a bad fall on a volcano in remote Indonesia some 13 years ago.  

The deeper I venture into this vast wilderness, the closer her steps take me to God. The more I touch the core of my spirit, the more I fully comprehend the words of my teacher Shiv Charan Singh, “The God in me is already loving me.” With every exhale, I drop deeper into this love, allowing God to catch me inside of me.

I have found a fearlessness that comes from a place of self-acceptance. Completely accepting my unique identity, who I am and what I stand for.

I have never felt more in alignment, so in love and loved.

The deeper I venture into Self-Healing Journeys, intimate conscious retreats and sessions I have created to empower you to heal yourself, the more I see that you have to want to access this inner state of joy, empowerment and wholeness. You have to want it. Do you?

You have heard it all here and everywhere if you are on this path. I want to share another story:

The client was given this caveat, “You know your marriage may not survive if we go through this process. Do you still want to go ahead?” This was before the deep dive into recognizing, releasing and healing a life’s worth of conditioning, belief system and patterns that kept her trapped in a bottomless downward spiral.

The high-flying boardroom warrior opted to consciously move toward the energy of authenticity. Stepping into her soul power was something she could no longer ignore, as emotional turmoil ate away her physical and mental health.

Bless her brave heart, Inner Child Healing is deep shadow work of weeding phobias and fears and seeding new ways of being. It is an integral part of inner work because it gets to the core of self-sabotaging patterns held in the subconscious since childhood.

She was not alone in navigating the frontier of her own becoming.

The truth is, I am just as human as you. I fall apart and fall together again. I went through the darkest time in the course of rebuilding my life when my own lack of self-love and self-worth shattered so many things I held dear and close. I know what it is like to face with the immensity of the unknown, to harbor a self-doubt so debilitating it is incapacitating. I know paralysis by analysis too well. I am keenly aware of falling prey to a sense of devastation and hopelessness, feeling the sun will never rise again.

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. – Albert Camu

It takes so much more strength to let go. Tearing down walls and comfort zones along with nameless fears, no matter how disheveled and daunting it can sometimes be, is being open to a life that is waiting with open arms.

Grasping tightly, on the other hand, is akin to wearing a protective armor that weighs heavily on the body. Self-preservation is a beast that offers an illusion of protection.

The body remembers long after the conscious mind has forgotten. Denial is scarier than shadow work. It desensitizes all your senses. The temple for the soul is numbed into believing that the perpetual pain in the back is a new normal because, well, everyone else chooses the easy way out. What you repress holds you hostage. A cabinet full of drugs and calendar chockablock with chiropractic appointments dulls the one full-colored life you are entitled to live.

You see, what you allow yourself to peel corresponds to the depth of your healing. Only if you allow. The crux is you willing to own your feelings, your stories, your choices. You willing to be uniquely you rather than what others expect you to be. Their judgment is merely a reflection of their own tainted wounded lens.

” I think that the process of giving your true love to someone, mainly surrounds the act of opening a door inside that’s all locked up. Behind that door lives the small child that is the real you. The small child who hurts too much and feels too much and laughs too loud and always believes. True love involves unlocking the many padlocks on that door, taking her by the hand, and guiding her to the arms of the one you’ve chosen to love. And I think this is why some people change forever because they loved someone in this way, but it only hurt too much. The little one was wounded. So this is why you take her back and tell her she’s better off staying inside. It is a poetic, lyrical tragedy. Some people die this way, before they ever are dead. Or maybe we don’t die; maybe we live on, behind that door.” – C. JoyBell C.

It is not at all an easy path but so worth it because personal liberation is priceless. This is why I practice what I practice. They keep me real, fearless, free. This is why I love and do the work I do.

I so love to hold your hand and support you through this renewal process. To shine the light on new ways to open new doors. It is the work I am called to do. And much more. At the end of the day, your inside job is your own journey. I want to empower you with self-healing tools so you know where and how to reach for these practices when life goes topsy turvy. I want inspire you to show up no matter how bone-weary you are because healing is not linear. We regress and progress, we sometimes break down again to break through. This is why we establish a solid practice to surf the waves of life.

As I am preparing my Second Degree Reiki teaching material, I am reminded the change you seek is the one you allow. Energy goes where attention and intention go. There is nothing more profound than realizing you have the power you manifest the life you desire, to walk the course that is right for you.

It takes courage to heal. Or would you breathe your last teetering, always on the verge?

If you are seeking support in radical transformation, to live in the light, I can hold the lamp for you. Ask me more here. Thank you for joining me in whatever ways you do, for showing up for yourself.

I have found in me what I am to be. Which I already am. And I’ll be what I am because only I can. – Shiv Charan Singh

I stumbled upon an old photo of my early days in Ashtanga yoga practice, transiting from Marichyasana C into D. Two incredible twists that took my stiff mind some three months to ease into.

I nursed a love-loathe relationship with this physically demanding yoga practice. The butterflies fluttering in my stomach every time I dropped in for Mysore self-practice class at the crack of dawn reflected what was going on in me. The abdominal cramps I experienced spoke of resistance to the unfamiliar, of fear of judgment from my teacher and more bendy practitioners.

The mat has always been my go-to tool for transcendence. I poured myself into a practice that changed my relationship with myself, and eventually every facet of my life.

The core strength I cultivated got me to fully honor my desires. I could take actions in the outer world to align with my inner world: I went on to create an ethical, sustainable retail business before the rest of the country caught up with conscious consumerism. The business was something I dreamt of pretty much most of my adult life. Heeding what my soul longed for required a trust beyond the logical constraints of the three-dimensional mind.

“Root deeper to bloom forth” is one of my oft-used phrases in class. Standing in your own power is lower chakra work. It rests in the realm of third chakra, the center of power and will. It is both energetic and physical because the body and spirit are one intricately woven electrical circuit.

The navel is where life begins. Your 72,000 energy channels spring forth here. Your expression – from the heart and throat – is manifested from the navel. Can’t communicate your truth? Navel work darling.

Fire in the belly they say. It takes courage to chip away the old block to birth a new life. It takes strength to do what is right for you and do everything necessary for your own expansion.

It is so easy to numb yourself, to live superficially. That dark place where your deepest fear resides is probably the most potent version of your spirit waiting to be expressed.

I have been noticing this split within the Self in incredibly successful women in the course of my work. Women who, out of fear, conditioning and habit, choose to hold back an authentic expression of themselves; choosing instead to wear the weight of other people’s expectations and judgment. Women who live for special occasions, for the picture of a perfect family, for the time to be right. Women who allow constant busyness because it is a perfect hiding place. Women who wear such impeccable mask because they didn’t think anyone would notice their exhaustion from carrying dead weight. Women who are paralyzed in silence.

It is a dreadfully limiting little box to be living in.

True healing occurs when we are congruent and in touch with who we truly are.

Dearest lovelies, how would it feel to allow yourself to have what you want. The equation is straightforward: If you want something, you make space for it. There is no other way. Begin with everyday simplicity. You no longer have to wait for that special date to wear your favorite outfit. Every day is a special day to burn your precious incense. Every day is a good day to enjoy a meal on a silver plate reserved for special guests.

Because this one life is a special occasion.

If you are so inclined to show up for yourself and the life that is waiting for you, I am here to lend support, to free up space for yourself and your deepest longings. My lifelong inner journey and the soul work I continue to do have come to this: I am inspired to offer limited one-to-one coaching spots that include Kundalini Yoga, Inner Child therapy and energy healing sessions. This program is completely bespoke and designed to empower, expand and create fulfillment. Evolution doesn’t have to be daunting. You have all the navigation and support you need – send all your burning questions here.

The dangers of life are infinite, and among them is safety. – Goethe

I was at a park watching the change of the leaves, relishing the scent of fall as we crossed the threshold of the equinox, over the midpoint of the astrological year. There I was, in the middle of a vast industrial city I have grown to embrace. Even love. There I sat, every day, a cool spot fringed by soulful old trees that beguiled me with wise words, sometimes cracking me up with their otherworldly sense of cosmic humor.

There I pondered, reflecting on the harvest of a big year, the gut-wrenching decisions and deep letting gos, and inevitable change. Of the seasons. Of me. Reflecting on transitions. The sense of despair, desolation and grief change brought.

At a recent healing session, my client shared a lifechanging decision. She let go of her live-in helper of seven years so she can be fully engaged with her young children. So she, the mother, can be the lamp for the ones she birthed. It is disruption, to say the least. This requires an entire overhaul in her lifestyle. A radical shift in comfort zone.

Change is messy. Change requires courage. She chooses where to place her courage, in the life she envisions to live. It is worth the chaos, the I-want-to-tear-my-hair-out moments.

Change calls for profound surrender. To the unknown. To safety.

Change calls for deep love.

It is with mad love for this transient thing called Life that I continue to edit the world I want to create for myself.

Unknowingly, I found myself finding my inner music most of this year, through the physical practice of a dance designed to confound and frustrate. And now a musical instrument so I can take bhakti, devotion, to the next level. Mind you, dancing and playing an instrument were never easy for me. I want it hard enough to rewire myself. I am so willing. I know I must.

My daily practices, come sunshine or storm, are my commitment to living a life that reflects my deepest values.

As I crossed many thresholds of sorts this year, hands on my heart, I bow in immense humility and gratitude for this breath, this beating heart, courage and grace. It is an honor to live this deeply.

This season of transitions, I am seeding flow. My inner music making space for magic and beauty.

What is alive for you, dear hearts? How do you make room for them? No matter the change and transitions you are shifting through, may you always sing your heart song, with conviction and full of soul. May you live the life that is longing to live through you.

You don’t have to live through the darkness of change alone. There’s nothing quite like practical tools and energetic support to see you through transitions. In addition to Kundalini Yoga, a holistic healing session with me includes Tibetan singing bowls strategically placed on your physical body. Where and how my hands and bowls move are guided by my inner knowing and your spirit guides. Together, we move energy and navigate this sweet little journey. Read what others say about my heart work here. Let’s do this together – connect with me here.