Self-Care for Serenity

This time last year I was at my favorite place in Bali, way up in the tranquil, far-flung north where black volcanic sand lends a deeply curative energetic vibe I appreciate. With nowhere to go now, nature walks at home ground are longer and more contemplative, the pause a meditation. I am relishing the forest baths and awe walks. Awe walks – meditative-like rambles where one looks for wonder – put things in perspective. The immensity of nature reminds me of unseen depths beyond the perception of the outer eye. I have found illumination in taking in the veins of a leaf, the unfurling of a flower petal, seeing old things with new eyes. The Creator is a consummate artist. There is beauty and poetry everywhere. Divinity is omnipresent.

Sometimes the known and certain are no longer best choices. I am taking time to venture off the usual paths. There is something purposeful about intentionally taking a different route to learn to relax into the unknown. Leaning into the possibilities that there will always be a way, though not the plan I dream about, is at once scary and exciting.

If I could name one thing this tumultuous year is teaching me, it would be to be fully present to what is. Right here right now is a wonderful place to be. We live in wild unprecedented times with no reprieve in sight. There has never been so much polarization, rage, chaos and all the uncomfortable emotions you can put a name to. I have never asked these many questions about the wisdom of pain, loss and suffering. Can things possibly get any worse? When my mind wanders to an anxious uncertain future, I find my breath to anchor into the present.

The peace of inner stillness allows us to understand everything is at where it is supposed to be. Serenity at the home in our hearts translates to peace outside. This practice of staying in the present is a conscious decision. It is choosing to return to the breath at every moment of awareness so it becomes a habit.

Our breath becomes us. We are our habits.

We come to realize that the universe mirrors back to us perfectly our beliefs, our intentions, our sincerity. What is the product of the map of reality you carry inside you. If you want to change your experience, you need to change the map. – Alberto Villoldo

When we take time for self-care and build good habits, recovery time to the center is quicker. When we carve out space to nourish our inner cosmos, we build capacity to tune into our inner teacher for guidance. This is the teacher who is in touch with the truth of the soul. Owning this truth – the truth that no external voice can tell you – is potent seed for authentic, courageous living.

Truth alignment births fearlessness. Authenticity vibrates at a higher frequency.

This is why we practice yoga. We practice not to experience zilch challenges and pain. We practice so we can stay in that shakiness and be the phoenix that rises from the ashes, stronger than before.

Self-care is an inside job goes beyond that organic veggie bowl or indulgent spa time. It is the art of taking time to:

  • Edit your relationships, choosing more supportive and uplifting companionship
  • Understand what it is right for you, not what will please others
  • Set healthy boundaries to honor your energy, space and truth
  • Tend to your feelings because they are valid
  • Reduce busyness to have a life
  • Relinquish what no longer serves to create space and move you deeper into you
  • Streamline your material possessions to live light in every sense of the word

Change is successful and lasting when triggered by a significant crisis. A new way of being begins with taking full responsibility for our feelings, actions and reactions, eyes open wide. Life is an effective teacher. The year 2020 sets us on a path of discovery along stupendous peaks and valleys. The year of locking down unlocks a vast world of inner journeys to ask the imperative question: Is the life you have been living the life you want to live?

Alignment

Recently in class, I was speaking of transiting into the last quarter of the year with the shedding energy of fall: We will be winding down and decluttering the body and spirit most of the season. On the mat we move for a life of greater ease off the mat.

Nature speaks of slowing down and the change of seasons with poignancy. The rustle of fallen withered foliage under my feet. The delicious scent of the forest after a rain. Have you noticed the dewdrops? I have been rather enchanted by these iridescent pearls that shimmer in the light. They murmur softly, almost inaudibly, then disappear like the shooting star that went too fast.

pitter patter

little by little

dew kissing

earth

Speaking of fall and shedding, I am a fan of letting go. My relationship with stuff – what I want to hold on to and what I allow to own me – has changed profoundly. Life is so much more full and fulfilling when:

  • Who I truly am is not defined by the external, certainly not by cultural, familial, societal conditioning and expectations, and the judgment of others.
  • I am present to what is, not teetering between the baggage of yesteryear and what-ifs of tomorrow.
  • There is space – and choice – to be present to what is showing up for me.
  • There is space and choice to joyfully surf life force.

This is why I practice what I practice. I practice because (1) Letting go is a constant work in progress. (2) I am imperfect.

The practice of yoga is far from achieving perfection, or getting to the destination of the full posture. Burn the goals and to-do lists please. Yoga is part undoing and part reconditioning by extending consciousness and grace to every maneuver. It is one of the most intimate ways you can develop a relationship with you, the most important person in the world.

Asking how I can ease into the asana is also asking what else I can let go of to experience the life that wants to live through me. There is such an art to feeling and understanding your own unique alignment in the forward fold while simultaneously honoring well-meaning postural cues and turning off the picture-perfect image magazines and Instagram have sold us.

Looking back, I have had so-called “perfect” alignment forced on me in my early yoga days. My teachers probably wanted me to fit into the “look” of the asana, never mind every bone, tendon and holding pattern of repressed energy is as unique as a snowflake. It is like carefully crafting a social media post to present to the world your perfect little life. Or rather the success you want others to believe you have achieved. You can believe it if you fake it enough.

In Twisted Roots, a juicy two-sided Yin pose we practiced this recent Saturday, most of us found little symmetry on both sides of the physical body. One side is almost always more open than the other. Our bodies inform us of our incredible asymmetrical truths. All we have to do is to listen to the language of the sensory body. Coming into the alignment that is unique to you is a nuanced, compassionate practice. Life is indeed so subtle and transient, blink and it passes you by. Self-realization is a gift from self-observation, a practice that is possible from slowing down and going Yinside. Pardon the Yin pun. 😉

One of the greatest gifts of freeing myself from a yoga system that was centered around the interpretation and personality of one man is fully anchoring into my own body and coming into my knowing and intuition (read full story here). This unfolding is beyond my dreams. I did not see it coming yet I was fully ready, trusting the stars are aligned and this is perfect and right for me. My new practice is filled with infinite possibilities. The new me trusts the mastery of my heart.

I know I have nailed that perfect pose – and life – when my inside feels spacious and free. I know life keeps coming in miraculous unexpected ways and all I have to remember is the daily practice adds up to real lasting change. And alignment.

Practice makes possible.

How are you practicing to fall into alignment with your heart, body and spirit?

P.S. I want to share with you this blessing of a birdsong that brings so much joy every morning, post sadhana. Alignment begins at first light. 🙂

P.PS. Yoga for Nervous System happens every Saturday morning, 10am (GMT +8), livestream. Together, we rest, digest and heal so we can live our highest evolution. Yoga for Nervous System is a secular practice for every body and creed. Come as you are. Come practice with me.

The world needs your light

When the city I am living in began to ease lockdown measures a few weeks ago, I made a list of the mountains I can possibly spend time in. Bhutan. Ladakh. Nepal. My partner and I spoke of taking our journaling workshop into a full-on retreat. We cannot wait to be back in nature, nourishing ourselves with long walks, soulful conversations and deep contemplation. The seemingly insurmountable mountain that now stands between us is fear. The world appears to be going crazy with closing borders and curtailing movement, alongside shutting down livelihoods and fundamental human rights to freedom. The impact on poverty and inequality is incredible.

You see, fear is a perfect control and terribly disempowering. While gripped with anxiety, we have forgotten interconnectivity is our nature. Separation is maya, an illusion. An Alaskan oil spill still wreaked havoc in the food chain and impacted lives oceans away a decade later. The volcanoes, valleys, mountains and seas that divide us actually sustain us. “We are one” is not a spiritual refrain. It is our nature.

All things share the same breath – the beast, the tree, the man. The air shares its spirit with all the life it supports. – Chief Seattle

Locking down is akin to shutting out the emotional body, numbing out in order not to feel. Nothing ever goes away. Energy merely changes form. Unprocessed emotions and dis-ease held in the tissues manifest as physical ailments. If your neck pain could speak, what would it say? What if cancer is but an alert system signaling you to listen?

As a practitioner of spirituality, everything has become a practice. The time I spend slowing down on the yoga mat extends to a life of greater ease off the mat. The intense moments when I intentionally surge energy on the mat relates to how little I need external stimuli to uplift myself outside of the mat. I thrive on the electricity I have generated within me.

This is potent invincible living.

This is how I show up for myself so I can show up for the world. Fearlessly. Purposefully. Come practice with me, live stream, Saturday morning. I have created a sweet little clip on Yoga for Nervous System for you. It is a secular practice for all levels of practitioner. Call it Yin Yang, or Energy Medicine, if you wish. We will learn to rewire our nervous system, the matrix of electrical energy that runs and fuels our existence.

“I wanted to drop you a line to say how much I enjoyed your class. It’s been about 20 years since I had done Hatha yoga so I was concerned if the class may be too advanced and whether or not I can keep up.  It was all good – different – and I’m already looking forward to the next class.”

“It was a really good class. I really felt cleansed.”

“Love how you explained the benefits of each movement.”

The world needs more light, more of us to be in our centered adult self. See you on the mat.

Deconstruct to construct

Love has no gender. Compassion has no religion. Character has no race. – Abhijit Naskar

The year 2020 probably goes down as one we will always remember. The Year of 4 (2+0+2+0), four being foundation, the structures we lean on to hold our lives together. Clearly, fear-based programs, lies, hypocrisy, pretensions, imbalances and narratives that no longer serve are illuminated, pleading for reexamination and recalibration. Conscious ones are fully comprehending humanity is asked to deconstruct in order to construct. Would you heed the call to honor what has been starved for attention? Would you begin to chip away and shed what and how you were taught, and thought, was The Way?    

Global and personal events that unfolded in the last month had me thinking about equality and empowerment, issues I hold close to my heart. How can we collectively play a part in creating a more equal world. How can we empower humans, especially the marginalized, to hear their own voice so they can step into their soul[ar plexus] power and be heard.

I recall my littlest returning home from school many moons ago enthusiastically sharing a day of fun with his “Malay” and “Indian” classmates. Strange, I thought, where did he pick up this newfound racial vocabulary. I did not care to educate my children in this manner. They did not know humans can be segregated racially until our outdated education system informed them so.

We are one big human race with no color, creed and gender divide. Certainly the multi-religion altar at home reflects Love is the religion. Love is the answer.

As one of the 7.8 billion humans coexisting on planet earth that is more connected than before, how can we embody qualities that contribute to peace and unity. We are complicit if we do nothing. Silence and shame are insidious weapons.

Energetically, silence relates to the throat center and shame resides in the sex organs. They are sibling centers: We take in the sensory world through our sex organs upon birth, before words found us. Our bodies can attach to racialized and sexual shame in the environment, from birth, and adopt and grow into these constrictions as if they were our true identity. The throat relates to how we emotionally speak for ourselves, how we can embody and be in resonance with truth. What is safe to say, and what we have been taught or are allowed to say.

Short of taking to the streets, what choices and decisions can we make on a daily basis that are based on universal love, genuine understanding and compassion.

There is a lot of work to be done to clean up deeply rooted shadows in the psyche individually and collectively. As spiritual beings living a human experience, we share a global responsibility to be the change we wish to see in the world. The Work begins at individual level, at where we are.

One of the best things I did was a Teacher Training in Children’s Yoga that had me working on my inner child wounds before my teachers Sat Sarbat and Satmukh saw guardians of children fit to go out and shape little minds. Inner child work is confrontational, unsavory shadow work. It is necessary to visit deep dark places to break free from habitual patterns and a belief system that perpetuates an unending loop of self-abuse, self-sabotage and self-inflicted pain. If we can change our own patterns, we can change our children’s, and the world’s.

How different will the world be if we turn our attention inward and grant ourselves permission to shed layers of cultural, familial, gender, religious and societal conditioning and indoctrination that have no place in our true identity.

As a spiritual teacher, my question is, how can I empower you to rise into your power. This is nervous system work. We are the strength of our nervous system. We are a complex power-generating circuitry of electrical energy. We have incredible self-authority to cultivate, manage and direct this inherent electricity to alchemize and transform our state of being.

This is it. Yoga for Nervous System. All my years of dedicated practice on and off the mat have come to a landing in my own body and soul that is aligned with my truth and a life that wants to live through me. It is as if the last few years prepared me for this becoming.

I will no longer teach the system, Kundalini Yoga as certified by Kundalini Research Institute. It was the life I knew and chose for many years. They were some of my most heart- and mind-opening years. I honor those pivotal years and welcome leaning deeper into my own knowing and power. I welcome the simultaneous sense of liberation and discomfort and insecurity of change, for it is in this state that life rearranges itself. It is in a state of disruption that new neural pathways can emerge and new energetic patterns form. True for the nervous system. True for a life authentically and consciously lived.

Yoga for Nervous System is all about tapping into our inherent electrical energy to feel our most magnificent pulse and live radiantly alive. I am riding the tumultuous wave of the Year of 4, dismantling all that I knew and rebuilding from Ground Zero. I begin again and again, supported by the strength of the nervous system I have cultivated. My practice is my commitment to a life aligned with what I value: authenticity and integrity.

Will you begin with me?

Yoga for Nervous System happens online, every Saturday, 10am (Singapore; GMT +8). Enquire at connect@globeskimmer.com; register here.

Going Yinside

Practice for the sheer joy
of being free. Practice
to be empty of “me, me me”.
Silent, open, and infinitely vast,
practice to remember what is real.

Practice to give yourself up
and receive the wordless truth.
What you get will be useless –
not the coin of any realm –
but oh, the glory of
those moments – being whole.

– Danna Faulds

Did you notice the pink and violet skies, and how overgrown wild flowers are abuzz with bees and butterflies? At where I live, lockdown measures begin to ease today. There is a sense of anticipation with a hefty dose of trepidation. Soon, we will convene in our new-normal selves. When it is business as usual, when you can breathe freely, mask free, what stories of change, loss and triumph will you tell? Will you continue into growth or retreat into familiar safety?

I begin the second half of 2020 offering Yin yoga sessions as a more sensory approach to the process of introspection and self-inquiry. It appears my yoga journey has come full circle, a destined homecoming of sorts. Yet I am stepping into a new world, one that is rebalancing and changing.

Outside, Piscean Age belief systems are crumbling, albeit not without a fight. Humanity is facing a new dawn. Mother Earth matters. Every voice matters. The soul is colorless, genderless and oh so free. It is time to let go of archaic beliefs that keep us in a state of separation. As a human race bound by collective suffering and opportunity for growth, we are asked to step forward to make new choices to experience wholeness.

Inside, I have been feeling my way into practicing and teaching Kundalini yoga differently since allegations of misconduct against Yogi Bhajan surfaced a few months ago. This necessary soul searching has been sobering and heartbreaking. It remains to be seen how I will eventually teach the practice so it is aligned with values I hold dear. I still bookend my day with a meditation in this tradition. There is a space in between my profound love for this powerful practice and equally deep disappointment with the fall from grace of a figure widely regarded as a guru. This is the space I am resting, between my breaths, awaiting the unfolding and eventual answer.

If there is one thing my spiritual practice has taught me, it is this: It is okay to feel the enormity of my feelings. It is okay to feel grief, rage and despair. It is okay not to be okay and positive all the time. This is why we practice. So nothing stays stuck and morph into a cancerous mass. We practice not just for peace of mind. We practice to have a life. A life we want to live. A life filled with freedom, clarity and strength to honor our authenticity and truth.

The more I pour myself into the physical practice of yoga, the more its subtleties permeate into other areas of my life. The deeper my energy medicine practice, the more I appreciate a multidimensional approach to dissolve the programing and conditioning in our system. Yin yoga to me is more than an antidote to our masculine, task-oriented lifestyle, or prescription for release of issues in our tissues. The slow practice is the perfect meditation tool to tune into the intricacies [Y]inside.

I see Yin yoga as an art in deep listening. How do we navigate sensations on the mat so we can listen to the stories inside that are longing to be heard. How do we sit through that hamstring tension so we can tend to strong emotions outside of the calm of the studio. How can we cultivate this sensitivity on the mat so the refined awareness connects us to our inner observer and our greatest teacher, the guru residing in our hearts.

Yoga is not nailing that deep back bend, or attaining the perfect symmetry. With this beautifully complex gift of a human body, can you touch your core to find your way h[om]e, to your unique you?

Reset

Dear Hearts,

Wherever you are, how are you keeping up? How is your heart, mind and body? How are you managing your energy level?

Four weeks in self-isolation flew by. At where I live, in Singapore, we have another four weeks to go. We are not alone in this mandatory stay-at-home order. Globally we are staying inside. There are those blessed with a privileged retreat. Many are struggling with necessary familial duties, work demands and self-care in truncated environs. Some are simply facing extraordinary hardship.

I did not think I would live to see a pandemic. Who could foresee toilet paper would be precious commodity. Who knew a previously taken for granted grocery run would be a chance for fresh air and a breather. I certainly appreciate the joy-walks and loving messages from above when I venture out to replenish fresh produce.

It is hard to fathom the magnitude of housecleaning that is required on a personal and collective level. A world painstakingly built to stay safe and cozy is crumbling. Debris that has been swept under the rug, stubbornly held old ways, parts that have been starved and repressed, everything has morphed into monstrous proportions because life is being examined at a microscopic level.

I like to believe humanity is at the threshold of a new way of being. They say you either have the intuition to change or you are forced to change. The Big C, Change, is unimaginable for most people even during the best of times.

For me transcending my resistant to technology was one such change. As a highly sensitive empath who feels everything so deeply, I wondered how I could be of service. With loving support from tech-savvy soul sisters, I took the great tech plunge, to teach online. I, or rather we were called to serve during this incredible time of introspection.

The last few weeks saw me teaching meditation to a whole new community across different time zones. I was very grateful to share the practice that has allowed me to meet my authentic self in this unending journey to find true liberation. It was a free offering from my heart. Your lovely notes saw me through the sense of disconnection I felt in a Zoom room.

You wrote:

“It was a powerful and invigorating session!”

“Was really good. Didn’t realize there were so many meditation techniques. It really helped to feel calmer and more focused.”

You had so many questions after our meditation sessions. Some of you were inspired to keep up with a self-practice. The Work works if you are willing to do the work. What is important you rise, show up and do your best every day. Every new day is an opportunity to listen deeper, trust more, live a little truer, one day, one breath at a time.

It is amazing there is so much grace and silver lining to this crisis. This reluctant pause is profound time not to be wasted. Our suffering cannot be in vain. Mother Nature thrives again. The plight of migrant workers, the marginalized and vulnerable is under scrutiny. Children are realizing being able to go to school is a privilege. There is newfound appreciation for personal and environmental wellness. All around me, people are breaking habits, patterns and cycles and finding change is not so daunting after all. Pursuits in the external world we once counted on for happiness appear to be trivial compared to the richness and sheer freedom a peaceful inner world can offer.

What if staying in and finding our true h[om]e is the deepest journey we will ever make this lifetime? What if this exploration brings us to uncharted territories where a breathtaking horizon is closer than we think. It is beautiful to witness this rousing from a slumber, shifting from paralysis to full-on engagement. Perhaps this is the long overdue reset planet earth needs.

How are you using the gift of this moment to transform yourself, to be the version of yourself you always wanted to be?

What and who will you be when you step out and walk on earth again?

How will you sustain and settle into the new you?

How else can we collectively stay awake for as long as possible?

There are more questions than answers and it is okay. Some days at home are better than the others and this is okay, too.

Soon enough I’ll be back in the mountains. My self-healing retreats will return next year. This is all I know and it is fine. The daily spiritual practice that saw me through change and loss is now preparing me for an unknown future. In this present moment, I am at my most prolific, creating healing music on the harmonium and writing a book. For now, my partner and I are rescheduling our journaling and yoga workshop Trust & Let Go. Come if you are called.

Till we connect in person again, please reach out if there are ways I can support you. There is more than enough space in Zoom room.

May you be unafraid

May you be free

May you live your best life from now on

Freedom

Satnam soulful ones,

The second quarter of 2020 is upon us.

Freedom has been on my mind lately. Do you feel the same?

With external borders shut and movement curtailed, I am journeying deep to find inner liberation. The path inward promises certainty when outside circumstances are beyond control.

It is human to want answers, to want to know what to expect and how things will work out. We are following the news, understanding what is happening and still at the mercy of the unknown and invisible. The truth is, we simply don’t know all the time.

The truth is also a dedicated spiritual practice can be your precious oars when you feel like a boat lost at sea. Where do you find ground when there is none?

There is so much wisdom intense times can teach us. We can learn to rest the thinking mind that wants surety and control of the maze. Life simply shows us where we need to go when the time is right. As yogis, we use the mat to practice relaxing and surrendering into the unfolding at the present moment. We listen to the language of the body. We find infinity in the finite.

Undoubtedly the physical suffering is real. Apocalyptic news have become so unsettling boundary setting is necessary to maintain sanity. I have never found a better time to take all that yoga has taught me on the mat to dark wobbly places outside of the mat. More than ever, the growing sense of connectedness and peace root even more profoundly in me so I can be the rock for those near and dear. More than ever, we are being called to return to the natural state of balance innate in us.

There is now nowhere else to go except the room in our hearts. Our best teacher resides in this vast boundless space, compass-ready for an inner odyssey. With no map for navigation, anything is possible. This is the time to reinvent and re-imagine all that is possible. Maybe being confined within four walls is redefining what Home means. Perhaps what is excessive or irreplaceable is showing up with surprising clarity. This crisis offers such fertile ground to investigate and re-evaluate our internal and external landscape. There is no more escaping. This is time to arrive in the temple that is the body and confer it deep healing.

The crack is after all where the light comes in. This could be Ground Zero for true liberation if you are willing to consider.

I keep singing, chanting, praying, playing music, practicing yoga. They help me find my inner freedom so I keep going. I want to let you know I am here practicing with you. I am here to share with you the practices that saw me through grief, loss and are now seeing me through a pandemic. Your tools are within you and I can show you how to access them. Reach out if you want to know how I can support you through these exceptional times. Sending you so much love. May you tend to yourself gently when the seas are rough and the storms look like they may never pass.

Trust and let go

I will always remember that September afternoon at Sri Guru Ram Das Jee International Airport. Our first words to each other were, what brought you here? CazArt and I laughed at this recollection of us chatting in the line at Immigration.

What brought us to India indeed. It appeared to be completely random. Or not. We both received a clear message from Up There to be in South Asia. I listened, refrained from asking a zillion questions and responded to guidance.

I trust what is meant for me. And what is possible.

That was all we knew at that moment in time. There we connected with each other, nearly 5,000 kilometers away from Singapore where we both called home.

Superficially, sitting in the audience of His Holiness The Dalai Lama was the thread that bound us. Really, it was time. It was simply time.

Somewhere out there, there is another heart-centered soul, who just like me, navigates her way home with poetry, song and art. Somewhere in this vast universe, there is another honest, feeling human who consciously chooses courageous expansive living aligned with her true essence.

Two years ago, CazArt had a brain surgery and near death experience that rewired her entire being and existence. In that same year, my dance with death through a sobering Death Meditation reset my most important relationships.

We weren’t looking but destiny found us.

Just like this, we birth our first workshop.

Trust and let go.

We did. And there we were, in the mountains of Dharamshala, knee-deep in cool waters from the gushing waterfall, tending to our full beating hearts in silence and reverence. We have chosen to hold hands, walk with each other and walk each other home.

Trust & Let Go

Our workshop is named after the first book CazArt published after her craniotomy.

In this intimate three-hour session, we dive into the art of trusting the wisdom of the heart with journaling and yoga.

We will soften the body with breath and conscious movement, dissect and slice the fear of letting go, journey deep into our hearts to drop the finely crafted mask we put on every morning, practice deep listening and journal away.

We journal and move, to trust and let go.

CazArt a seasoned journal writer will have your ink flowing like butter. I will be by her side leading with meditation and movement to get you into the flow. We will both share the practice that nourishes, restores and fortifies us when our hearts are weary and bones too heavy. Together we will guide you into your inner cosmos so you can flourish in your outer world.

Trust that you are here in this time

and space for a reason.

So just let go and allow

the glorious moment to happen.

It will take you wherever

you are meant to be.

– CazArt

This is our story. What is yours?

Now is a good time to begin a practice that will nourish, clarify and fortify you many weeks ahead. Trust and let go with us.

Dying to live

Death is a stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to die before you die – and find that there is no death. – Eckhart Tolle

The year began with a bereavement and a debilitating viral outbreak that brought travel to its knees and life to a near standstill. I have not felt this sense of urgency about mortality.

We can roll out the best laid plans, consult all the planets and galaxies, think we are doing it as sensibly as we know how. But who knows for certainty if the choices and decisions we make are the best ones for us and those we care about. We may never know if the new job, birthing another child, walking away from a relationship that no longer works is the right thing.

Are there right or wrong choices, or are they a matter of opinion and judgment, ours and others. The self-sabotaging beliefs and stories we spin in our heads can keep us stuck in a victim mode.

There have never been wrong decisions. Every single pain and loss expanded, changed and grew me. Part of the practice is to pause, self-observe and purify.

I can only rise every morning before the sun does, rise above my patterns and show up the best I can with a grateful heart. In the quiet of the pre-dawn morning, I say a prayer and listen in. It is an intimate and honest moment with spirit. What needs nurturing. What I ache for. What comes alive for me. The answers that come through at this godly hour are real and true.

A Death meditation I did almost two years ago was a redefining moment. It brought me to the last few minutes where I breathed my last and looked back at a life that went by in a flash. I saw unspoken words that were left hanging in the air, half-carved dreams and too many regrets.

There is really nothing quite like death to clarify, rekindle the courage to step into the journey to deeply drink from the cup of life, and “allow the flow of life as God wants us to flow with it” so to quote Yogi Bhajan.

It is never too late to begin again.

I don’t take anything for granted now. I love the people I love fully and make sure they know it. There is no room in my body to contain unexpressed words and emotions. I share my tender heart openly because the soul knows no division. The knowing that I have danced with life with all my heart and soul brings an incredible sense of liberation and fearlessness.

With yoga, a man can be a goddess and a woman can be a warrior. Our souls are divine; only our bodies have a gender. – Martin Richtsfeld.

Want to know more about the yoga practice that keeps my heart wide open and resilient and my senses sensitive so I can listen to my inner light? I’ll be teaching the highly accessible tools of Kundalini Yoga Saturday mornings in central Singapore in rotation with Joti Akal and Saharra. Together we will move, sweat, chant, sing and pray. It is never too late to begin again. Join us, will you? Get in touch here.

May you rise and shine, make decisions aligned with what is true to you and always remember your divine soul is longing to live your highest you.

Finding h[om]e

Satnam Dear Ones, I adore January. The air feels crisp, fresh and full of possibilities. Do you feel the same too?

We arrive at amazing pivotal times. New year, new decade, brand new era. A year of 4 (2+0+2+0) with six eclipses and all planets in retrograde, no less. There is a lot going on. Spectacular is going to be an understatement for 2020.

The universe is really calling us to peel further, love harder, trust deeper and surrender more to build the life we envision. It is calling us to go deep to find and redefine h[om]e. The energies are about tearing down walls, and outdated systems and structures. There is incredible cosmic support to deconstruct to construct, take baby steps toward a path aligned with what is true and heartfelt for us.

The year that just went by was a soul level spring cleaning. So much of what no longer served has been set aflame, slate wiped clean, recalibrated. How fortuitous we begin the decade with an emotional full moon lunar eclipse, a fiery last go at cleaning up remnants from the past and everything that has overstayed its welcome before we begin a new cycle.

Bless the endings and let the compost fertilize your best life in the years ahead.

Be like a tree and let the dead leaves drop. – Rumi

What do you intend to create in the next 10 years and more?

Spending time in nature and living in alignment with her pulse and rhythm continue to shape me. The clarity and wisdom nature offers is astounding. I have been deeply blessed and healed by her medicine and want to offer the same to you. This is why I set my self-healing retreats in nature. They are a soulful and intimate dive into your inner wilderness. The invitation is open. Come with me will you?

Indeed the time has come to deepen my work with children. It is such a privilege to be able to lend my gifts to the special needs community.

Spending time with children reminds me of the inner child in us, the one who is naturally open, creative and oh so fearless. This child is the seed of who we are.

More and more, I am called to help you to align your inner and outer worlds, embody your true identity and find your h[om]e. I have created a one-to-one integrated program – with yoga, energy healing and inner child therapy – to help you fully step into the life that is longing to live through you.

H[om]e is where the inner child resides, with nary a mask or false identity. H[om]e is a place inside of you where you are free to be you. H[om]e is where you can turn your attention inward to nourish so you can flourish.

How do you walk yourself h[om]e? It is not a mere dance under the stars, swim with the dolphins or one-time therapy. The program I have crafted contains structure and support to guide you breath by breath, movement by movement, one inner child at a time, to the spacious room inside you. Together we will unlock the door to vitality and deep joy to pave the way to your best life. Now is the time. Write me here.

Prepare to change

“Prepare to change,” comes the honeyed baritone voice of my teacher Hansu Jot as my fingers are getting ready to move from chord to chord on the harmonium.

Preparing to change fingers soon eases into a fluent rhythm when change is prepped for.

The music of life plays out before my eyes on the harmonium. It is about moving through life. Making the changes you need to make the changes you want to make. “Prepare to change” is both literal and metaphorical. Our brain and body are one neuromuscular system. Can do metaphorically, can do physically. How do you prepare for change so you can sing your melody on your vision board?

There are two ways to change things: Either you are forced to change or you have the intuition to change. – Yogi Bhajan

As we prepare for change, the Big C – Change – becomes less daunting. “Change is the only constant” cannot be a wiser adage. Some change, such as a relocation that feels so expansive, is downright exciting. Some change, like the ending of a relationship that you thought is meant to last forever, hurts like hell. How can it not be?

Can change be more comfortable? Rather should the question be, is resistance to change the suffering?

This extraordinary year has been for me one of Big C, of metamorphoses. It has been fervent shedding – breaking karmic patterns, releasing lifetimes of outmoded energies, rewiring mindsets, clearing clutter inside and out, trimming my inner landscape – to fully make space for the essence of Sita Pavan Kaur, the spiritual identity I want to embody heart and soul. It has been about discovering my inner music, nurturing my higher self and breathless expansion in ways I did not envision.

This is a year of rooting deeper into love, truth and trust. There is a sense that God is doing it all. The synchronicities and unfolding are sheer divine orchestration. Breathtaking to witness, such a blessing to receive. Losses and gains, endings and beginnings, crossroads and life-changing paths have long been set in motion because there is a greater plan than the ones I have in my head. I could not have been better shown what I want to let in from now on.

Hindsight is always 200 percent. I am hard pressed to find anything I would have done differently. Everything is exactly at where it should be. The process of withering and eventual death is simultaneously excruciating and necessary. I cannot say I love the life lessons but they did clarify and redefine boundaries and what is most important for spirit. I did not seek illumination in such bewildering circuitous manner. The becoming found me.

With a whole lot of gratitude, hand on heart I whisper, I enter a new decade with zilch regrets thank you.

How about you dear hearts. How did the last 10 years pan out for you? In the last weeks of this decade, are there baggage to drop, unfinished businesses that need wrapping up and closure? Are there people you want to reach out to, share more time with? What should be unreservedly let go of to expand into intentional living and so much possibilities? What is ripe for beginnings? How are you preparing for change?

We end 2019 with a solar eclipse and begin the next with a lunar eclipse. I love eclipses for the incredible cosmic support they bring to life. What is more aligned and true for us is given a handy shove, if we are so willing.

May you begin a new decade fresh, charged and ready to carve a future you want to belong to. May you grant yourself carte blanche to venture the length, breadth, and depth of what you love. May you have the courage and strength to live the change you wish to see in your world.

Happy New Beginnings!

Courage to heal

Everything seemed possible, when I looked through the eyes of a child.
And every once in a while; I remember I still have the chance to be that wild.

– Nikki Rowe

Hello Beloved, I have been spending so much time in nature, pausing, observing, listening. There is beauty before me, beauty behind me, beauty all around me, to quote the Navajo prayer of gratitude.

This year marks the year I return to the mountains. I never thought I would attempt to touch the sky again after a bad fall on a volcano in remote Indonesia some 13 years ago.  

The deeper I venture into this vast wilderness, the closer her steps take me to God. The more I touch the core of my spirit, the more I fully comprehend the words of my teacher Shiv Charan Singh, “The God in me is already loving me.” With every exhale, I drop deeper into this love, allowing God to catch me inside of me.

I have found a fearlessness that comes from a place of self-acceptance. Completely accepting my unique identity, who I am and what I stand for.

I have never felt more in alignment, so in love and loved.

The deeper I venture into Self-Healing Journeys, intimate conscious retreats and sessions I have created to empower you to heal yourself, the more I see that you have to want to access this inner state of joy, empowerment and wholeness. You have to want it. Do you?

You have heard it all here and everywhere if you are on this path. I want to share another story:

The client was given this caveat, “You know your marriage may not survive if we go through this process. Do you still want to go ahead?” This was before the deep dive into recognizing, releasing and healing a life’s worth of conditioning, belief system and patterns that kept her trapped in a bottomless downward spiral.

The high-flying boardroom warrior opted to consciously move toward the energy of authenticity. Stepping into her soul power was something she could no longer ignore, as emotional turmoil ate away her physical and mental health.

Bless her brave heart, Inner Child Healing is deep shadow work of weeding phobias and fears and seeding new ways of being. It is an integral part of inner work because it gets to the core of self-sabotaging patterns held in the subconscious since childhood.

She was not alone in navigating the frontier of her own becoming.

The truth is, I am just as human as you. I fall apart and fall together again. I went through the darkest time in the course of rebuilding my life when my own lack of self-love and self-worth shattered so many things I held dear and close. I know what it is like to face with the immensity of the unknown, to harbor a self-doubt so debilitating it is incapacitating. I know paralysis by analysis too well. I am keenly aware of falling prey to a sense of devastation and hopelessness, feeling the sun will never rise again.

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. – Albert Camu

It takes so much more strength to let go. Tearing down walls and comfort zones along with nameless fears, no matter how disheveled and daunting it can sometimes be, is being open to a life that is waiting with open arms.

Grasping tightly, on the other hand, is akin to wearing a protective armor that weighs heavily on the body. Self-preservation is a beast that offers an illusion of protection.

The body remembers long after the conscious mind has forgotten. Denial is scarier than shadow work. It desensitizes all your senses. The temple for the soul is numbed into believing that the perpetual pain in the back is a new normal because, well, everyone else chooses the easy way out. What you repress holds you hostage. A cabinet full of drugs and calendar chockablock with chiropractic appointments dulls the one full-colored life you are entitled to live.

You see, what you allow yourself to peel corresponds to the depth of your healing. Only if you allow. The crux is you willing to own your feelings, your stories, your choices. You willing to be uniquely you rather than what others expect you to be. Their judgment is merely a reflection of their own tainted wounded lens.

” I think that the process of giving your true love to someone, mainly surrounds the act of opening a door inside that’s all locked up. Behind that door lives the small child that is the real you. The small child who hurts too much and feels too much and laughs too loud and always believes. True love involves unlocking the many padlocks on that door, taking her by the hand, and guiding her to the arms of the one you’ve chosen to love. And I think this is why some people change forever because they loved someone in this way, but it only hurt too much. The little one was wounded. So this is why you take her back and tell her she’s better off staying inside. It is a poetic, lyrical tragedy. Some people die this way, before they ever are dead. Or maybe we don’t die; maybe we live on, behind that door.” – C. JoyBell C.

It is not at all an easy path but so worth it because personal liberation is priceless. This is why I practice what I practice. They keep me real, fearless, free. This is why I love and do the work I do.

I so love to hold your hand and support you through this renewal process. To shine the light on new ways to open new doors. It is the work I am called to do. And much more. At the end of the day, your inside job is your own journey. I want to empower you with self-healing tools so you know where and how to reach for these practices when life goes topsy turvy. I want inspire you to show up no matter how bone-weary you are because healing is not linear. We regress and progress, we sometimes break down again to break through. This is why we establish a solid practice to surf the waves of life.

As I am preparing my Second Degree Reiki teaching material, I am reminded the change you seek is the one you allow. Energy goes where attention and intention go. There is nothing more profound than realizing you have the power you manifest the life you desire, to walk the course that is right for you.

It takes courage to heal. Or would you breathe your last teetering, always on the verge?

If you are seeking support in radical transformation, to live in the light, I can hold the lamp for you. Ask me more here. Thank you for joining me in whatever ways you do, for showing up for yourself.

If not now, when?


I have found in me what I am to be. Which I already am. And I’ll be what I am because only I can. – Shiv Charan Singh

I stumbled upon an old photo of my early days in Ashtanga yoga practice, transiting from Marichyasana C into D. Two incredible twists that took my stiff mind some three months to ease into.

I nursed a love-loathe relationship with this physically demanding yoga practice. The butterflies fluttering in my stomach every time I dropped in for Mysore self-practice class at the crack of dawn reflected what was going on in me. The abdominal cramps I experienced spoke of resistance to the unfamiliar, of fear of judgment from my teacher and more bendy practitioners.

The mat has always been my go-to tool for transcendence. I poured myself into a practice that changed my relationship with myself, and eventually every facet of my life.

The core strength I cultivated got me to fully honor my desires. I could take actions in the outer world to align with my inner world: I went on to create an ethical, sustainable retail business before the rest of the country caught up with conscious consumerism. The business was something I dreamt of pretty much most of my adult life. Heeding what my soul longed for required a trust beyond the logical constraints of the three-dimensional mind.

“Root deeper to bloom forth” is one of my oft-used phrases in class. Standing in your own power is lower chakra work. It rests in the realm of third chakra, the center of power and will. It is both energetic and physical because the body and spirit are one intricately woven electrical circuit.

The navel is where life begins. Your 72,000 energy channels spring forth here. Your expression – from the heart and throat – is manifested from the navel. Can’t communicate your truth? Navel work darling.

Fire in the belly they say. It takes courage to chip away the old block to birth a new life. It takes strength to do what is right for you and do everything necessary for your own expansion.

It is so easy to numb yourself, to live superficially. That dark place where your deepest fear resides is probably the most potent version of your spirit waiting to be expressed.

I have been noticing this split within the Self in incredibly successful women in the course of my work. Women who, out of fear, conditioning and habit, choose to hold back an authentic expression of themselves; choosing instead to wear the weight of other people’s expectations and judgment. Women who live for special occasions, for the picture of a perfect family, for the time to be right. Women who allow constant busyness because it is a perfect hiding place. Women who wear such impeccable mask because they didn’t think anyone would notice their exhaustion from carrying dead weight. Women who are paralyzed in silence.

It is a dreadfully limiting little box to be living in.

True healing occurs when we are congruent and in touch with who we truly are.

Dearest lovelies, how would it feel to allow yourself to have what you want. The equation is straightforward: If you want something, you make space for it. There is no other way. Begin with everyday simplicity. You no longer have to wait for that special date to wear your favorite outfit. Every day is a special day to burn your precious incense. Every day is a good day to enjoy a meal on a silver plate reserved for special guests.

Because this one life is a special occasion.

If you are so inclined to show up for yourself and the life that is waiting for you, I am here to lend support, to free up space for yourself and your deepest longings. My lifelong inner journey and the soul work I continue to do have come to this: I am inspired to offer limited one-to-one coaching spots that include Kundalini Yoga, Inner Child therapy and energy healing sessions. This program is completely bespoke and designed to empower, expand and create fulfillment. Evolution doesn’t have to be daunting. You have all the navigation and support you need – send all your burning questions here.