Courage to heal

Everything seemed possible, when I looked through the eyes of a child.
And every once in a while; I remember I still have the chance to be that wild.

– Nikki Rowe

Hello Beloved, I have been spending so much time in nature, pausing, observing, listening. There is beauty before me, beauty behind me, beauty all around me, to quote the Navajo prayer of gratitude.

This year marks the year I return to the mountains. I never thought I would attempt to touch the sky again after a bad fall on a volcano in remote Indonesia some 13 years ago.  

The deeper I venture into this vast wilderness, the closer her steps take me to God. The more I touch the core of my spirit, the more I fully comprehend the words of my teacher Shiv Charan Singh, “The God in me is already loving me.” With every exhale, I drop deeper into this love, allowing God to catch me inside of me.

I have found a fearlessness that comes from a place of self-acceptance. Completely accepting my unique identity, who I am and what I stand for.

I have never felt more in alignment, so in love and loved.

The deeper I venture into Self-Healing Journeys, intimate conscious retreats and sessions I have created to empower you to heal yourself, the more I see that you have to want to access this inner state of joy, empowerment and wholeness. You have to want it. Do you?

You have heard it all here and everywhere if you are on this path. I want to share another story:

The client was given this caveat, “You know your marriage may not survive if we go through this process. Do you still want to go ahead?” This was before the deep dive into recognizing, releasing and healing a life’s worth of conditioning, belief system and patterns that kept her trapped in a bottomless downward spiral.

The high-flying boardroom warrior opted to consciously move toward the energy of authenticity. Stepping into her soul power was something she could no longer ignore, as emotional turmoil ate away her physical and mental health.

Bless her brave heart, Inner Child Healing is deep shadow work of weeding phobias and fears and seeding new ways of being. It is an integral part of inner work because it gets to the core of self-sabotaging patterns held in the subconscious since childhood.

She was not alone in navigating the frontier of her own becoming.

The truth is, I am just as human as you. I fall apart and fall together again. I went through the darkest time in the course of rebuilding my life when my own lack of self-love and self-worth shattered so many things I held dear and close. I know what it is like to face with the immensity of the unknown, to harbor a self-doubt so debilitating it is incapacitating. I know paralysis by analysis too well. I am keenly aware of falling prey to a sense of devastation and hopelessness, feeling the sun will never rise again.

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. – Albert Camu

It takes so much more strength to let go. Tearing down walls and comfort zones along with nameless fears, no matter how disheveled and daunting it can sometimes be, is being open to a life that is waiting with open arms.

Grasping tightly, on the other hand, is akin to wearing a protective armor that weighs heavily on the body. Self-preservation is a beast that offers an illusion of protection.

The body remembers long after the conscious mind has forgotten. Denial is scarier than shadow work. It desensitizes all your senses. The temple for the soul is numbed into believing that the perpetual pain in the back is a new normal because, well, everyone else chooses the easy way out. What you repress holds you hostage. A cabinet full of drugs and calendar chockablock with chiropractic appointments dulls the one full-colored life you are entitled to live.

You see, what you allow yourself to peel corresponds to the depth of your healing. Only if you allow. The crux is you willing to own your feelings, your stories, your choices. You willing to be uniquely you rather than what others expect you to be. Their judgment is merely a reflection of their own tainted wounded lens.

” I think that the process of giving your true love to someone, mainly surrounds the act of opening a door inside that’s all locked up. Behind that door lives the small child that is the real you. The small child who hurts too much and feels too much and laughs too loud and always believes. True love involves unlocking the many padlocks on that door, taking her by the hand, and guiding her to the arms of the one you’ve chosen to love. And I think this is why some people change forever because they loved someone in this way, but it only hurt too much. The little one was wounded. So this is why you take her back and tell her she’s better off staying inside. It is a poetic, lyrical tragedy. Some people die this way, before they ever are dead. Or maybe we don’t die; maybe we live on, behind that door.” – C. JoyBell C.

It is not at all an easy path but so worth it because personal liberation is priceless. This is why I practice what I practice. They keep me real, fearless, free. This is why I love and do the work I do.

I so love to hold your hand and support you through this renewal process. To shine the light on new ways to open new doors. It is the work I am called to do. And much more. At the end of the day, your inside job is your own journey. I want to empower you with self-healing tools so you know where and how to reach for these practices when life goes topsy turvy. I want inspire you to show up no matter how bone-weary you are because healing is not linear. We regress and progress, we sometimes break down again to break through. This is why we establish a solid practice to surf the waves of life.

As I am preparing my Second Degree Reiki teaching material, I am reminded the change you seek is the one you allow. Energy goes where attention and intention go. There is nothing more profound than realizing you have the power you manifest the life you desire, to walk the course that is right for you.

It takes courage to heal. Or would you breathe your last teetering, always on the verge?

If you are seeking support in radical transformation, to live in the light, I can hold the lamp for you. Ask me more here. Thank you for joining me in whatever ways you do, for showing up for yourself.