The Move

This phenomenal year of fervent weeding culminated in a physical relocation. The Big Move.

The immensity of physical stocktaking has an extra sensitivity when the incessant peeling of layers all year long has left one pink and raw.

What more, how much more, can one shed?

Letting go is a practice. Letting go is a process of commitment. Just like showing up on the mat, every damn day, through illness, loss and grief.

I thought I died so many deaths this year. On some days, ghosts I thought I had banished returned with shocking ferocity. These were moments I could not prepare enough for.

I honored all that arose and moved through the sensations. I allowed myself to feel deeply, completely, like a Highly Sensitive Person knew how.

I allow so the pain does not stay in my cells. I allow the physicality of my Kundalini Yoga practice to release energies that do not serve me. There were days I found it necessary to spend all day on the mat because the technology does what it does, transmute to transform.

This is the yoga I practice off and on the mat.

So one afternoon, I acknowledged my past, all the publications I have written for, and let them go. My lifelong career as a scribe covering travel and wellness perfectly set me up for the path I am walking today.

Conscious Living is conscious living. Whether I wear the hat as an earnest travel and wellness writer, idealistic social entrepreneur, or purposeful energy medicine practitioner.

Letting go does not mean forgetting. I fully honor the lessons and experiences that have chiseled me into shape. I am grateful for the mirrors and lemons.

By letting go, I am closer to the life I have been indefatigably carving. All the rebirthing and dying processes in my Kundalini Yoga practice have served me. I work on my subconscious, clear my karma as I live the dharma and build my aura and prana as I manifest my dreams and life purpose.

I want to know when death comes a knocking I have pursued my True Loves. I embrace Satnam like my second skin.

All my heartfelt adventures have shown me how I can be more fearless. You know what, I can Rise Up to my calling because, more than ever, I am connected to the teacher residing in me.

Thanksgiving

filling my cup
half full
so I can do what I have to do to walk myself home

I begin and end the day with a gratitude practice. I ground, center and send Thank Yous to ether, God, the Sikh Gurus and all my Guides. Connecting to something bigger than my finite existence is incredibly humbling. Gratitude teaches me surrender, trust and faith.

This year is one year where questions loomed larger than answers, where endings and loss were acutely mourned because beginnings appeared nowhere near. When clarity was wanting, all I could do was consciously ground into the present. My dedicated Kundalini Yoga practice saw me through weeks and months when life threw so many lemons I could not summon enough good humor to make lemonade.

When I tune in with Adi mantra before my practice, ong namo guru dev namo, I surrender to something larger than me. When I close with satnam, Truth is my identity, I anchor deeper into my own truth, knowing the pure light within me will guide my way on.

This one hell of a year of shedding, I peeled off so many layers I was all raw, and on some days, feeling pretty damn bloodied. Truths and comfort zone are tricky to navigate. Authenticity is hardly comfortable.

I am grateful for the shadows and difficult truths. Sign me up please if growth can be scheduled at a more convenient time. All I can do is breathe, move the energy, slow the eff down. All I can do is to make room for seeds I have planted to push their way out of earth. To have space to witness this blossoming, that’s plenty to be grateful for.

Root deeper

root deeper
to stand taller

Full moon in Venus-ruled Taurus + Venus retrograde. Relationships in all forms, in all their lengths, breadths and depths, are illuminated intensely. The morning I woke and realized some connections have long moved past their relevance, some people, though very much treasured, are seldom available. A few are even toxic.

Why do we hold on to the things we hold on to, allowing the cobwebs to weave large and larger. Their tensile strength so steel-like, their roots claw deep into the chambers of the heart. Clinging to them is akin to self-flagellation.

The epiphany is heartbreaking. Waking up to realize there’s nothing left to hold on to. Even when the decision to let go is yours, emptiness cuts into the bones. The sense of loss is deafening.

So we spend more time on the mat, knowing the stillness that follows can be translated off the mat.

This and next week, we harness breath, mudra and mantra to root deeper so we can stand tall in gale-force winds.

This trio, in the tradition of Kundalini Yoga as Taught by Yogi Bhajan, taps into the natural intelligence of the body to quickly direct energy inherent in us. So our crystal clear energy channels can be reflected in our external world. Our ability to self-heal is incredible. Everything is inside of you – all you have to do is to show up for yourself.

Oct 25, 10-11am, Space 2B
Oct 30, 10:30-11:45am, One Heart
Nov 1, 10-11am, Space 2B

Core Strength

Day 40 of White Hole Mudra Meditation.

Kundalini Yoga is called the Yoga of Angles and Triangles. The angles of the hand gestures, or mudras, are very specific. We concentrate prana with shapes and angles. Every angle we hold in the body has a corresponding energetic effect because the muscles are putting pressure on specific body parts.

The mudra for this meditation is held for 22 minutes. How do you hold up your arms for an extended time when every cell is pleading for mercy. Where do you draw strength from so you can sit your ground when life gets wild and complicated.

The practice is no different on and off the mat.

The strength comes from the core. The core of your being. Neither sheer brute strength nor mental prowess will see you through intense times, or an intense meditation. The stability and steadiness of your core, the seat of your lower chakras, will root you as you find fire and corresponding courage to see yourself through change, chaos and the fear of trusting your own heart and wisdom.

The core of your energetic being will center you when you are drowning in grief and wrecked by shame because you are unable to be positive enough, strong enough or let go fast enough.

Yoga, on and off the mat, is a daily practice. Some days are plain arduous and dark. Perseverance is hollow and too fragile when held by tenets of the mind.

It is far easier on the shoulders when the weight is borne from your heart and soul, your core strength.

Develop Your Hidden Greatness

 

Doing sadhana doesn’t make challenges disappear, it helps us to clarify, refine, and build the strength of the nervous system to welcome the challenges and see them as supportive aids in our health, happiness and prosperity. – Simrit Kaur

Day 90 of Develop Your Hidden Greatness Kriya

These words from Simrit Kaur sum up why I practice. Why I wake every damn morning at ungodly, or rather Godly hour to move and sit on the mat. This is one meditation that saw me through so much change.

Disillusions, rage, heartbreaks, illnesses, all the negativity life had to throw at me and one hell of an eclipse and retrogade season.

This is one meditation that saw me through breakthroughs, recalibrated my stories, and gifted me so much faith, insights and tenacity in the face of a sense of calamity.

The T mudra cutting through blocks. The Saturn finger imparting patience. The breath, long, deep and clarifying. The mantra fortifying like no other.

I practice every damn day not to be superhuman. Surrendering is a process. Letting go is a practice. Deep listening is a subtle art.

I practice to be more human, more humane. I practice to see the light in the cracks. Rain or shine, through sickness and health. Because life is just too darn hard if I don’t.